VALENTINES DAY, the Mac Daddy of either Joy or Sadness over Roses.

Holiday Pro Tip: FOOD doesn’t make bad things better. If you’re sad, after you binge, you’ll still be sad but as a bonus you can pile on guilt about your weight. They are two separate lanes. Work with them separately. Understand your sadness or the reason you’re unhappy and do your best to get through it without FOOD. Figure out why you make bad food choices... a pork chop and sliced tomatoes taste as good as a frozen Red Baron pizza. There is no need to compound sadness by gaining weight you had surgery to lose.

Holiday Pro Tip 2: ITS ONE DAY. There’s no need to create a giant table of the most fattening things you can cram into your face AND USE THE EXCUSE YOU MADE THEM FOR SOMEONE ELSE. Make a nice meal that tastes good. My VALENTINES DINNER for Ty and I this year... Filet mignon, salad, roasted broccoli, a little Gamay Rouge wine and later a mini no sugar cheesecake. It really can’t get better. What would be better? Five more dishes? No. Would fattening Noodles Alfredo make it better? No. Would rolls make it better? No. In fact I could even skip the broccoli and dinner would still be fab! I probably will skip the broccoli. Steak and salad is a win win.

While I'm at it, please stop with the creamy bottled dressings. Ive noticed that when watching My 600 Pound life, there is always a sad faced salad eating session with a GIANT bottle of some crappy Ranch dressing on the table next to their plastic bowl. RANCH DRESSING IS A BAD THING. Use Olive oil and balsamic and toss it in a big bowl so it coats without a thousand calories. Newmans Own Light Caesar or Italian is honestly so good that I buy it! IMPORTANT: NO RANCH DRESSING. IF you make a packet of Hidden Valley Ranch with YOGURT and keep it in the fridge, that is a smart exception because its yogurt but no one does that other than Suzi and I.

Holiday Pro Tip 3: Not everyone is a happy Valentine. You are allowed to be sad but don’t let your being sad overtake you where you can't breathe. If it’s being ALONE that’s making you unhappy, sit down and write an old fashioned letter to someone you love. DO NOT use your letter to whine about your issues. Use it to tell them why they make you feel good. Turn it around to a positive.

BUT WHY ARE YOU TRULY SAD? Make a WHY IM SAD LIST, then get a red pen and begin crossing things off your list that really don’t matter. Like Christmas, Valentines Day has gotten out of control and it took a pandemic to reel us in to appreciate small things. Overpriced flowers and a pink hydrogenated oil based cake do not improve your life. Neither does getting upset because someone doesn’t buy them for you. I wasted a lot of energy in younger years soothing hurt feelings because my husband did not bring me roses on Valentines Day. He wasn’t going to change, but changing how I reacted was a smart way for me to preserve my emotions. Its calmer these days now that I don't torment myself over something outside my power to change.

This year I made the decision to simplify my life. I try too hard. I stopped tracking down grandchildren’s addresses - every year I spend hours on sending gifts to grown people who don’t bother to keep in touch with their 81 year old grandfather. It lightened the load and helped me to more fully appreciate the people who do care. The one granddaughter who sent me a text the other day with a photo of our great granddaughter Scarlett, got a Valentines Gift Card for Macys.

It is a lot less anxiety and a lot more happy doing things for people who reciprocate feelings, than chase ones who do not. Once I let it go, I started getting roses. Funny how that often works.